Motivation

Motivation is something lacking my my life right now. I have had motivation in the past but enevitably I always reached a point which leaves me feeling "why bother!".

I don't think the motivation goes away? What I susspect is that I come to a realisation that the activity itself becomes pointless (I think this needs an example):

I've always been motivated to "be the best" at what I do, excelling in my field drives me. At first, this seems like a great situation! In time though, I came to realise, life rarely rewards / appriciates "the best" people think they want "the best", but utimately what people demonstrate to really want (life has shown to me) is the best for them e.g:

The Cheapest to obtain,
The Fastest to obtain and
The Easiest to obtain.

People seem to feel they want the best, but, there are always conditions. I came to realise that there is no point putting-in the effort to make something that I know / feel to be the best because it is so rarely appriciated / rewarded. I found people would praise and reward me for doing something quickly, but would rarely praise me for doing something well / properly. It seems I can either be the best and be unappriciated / under rewarded, or I can make money and have quality of life.

That motivation leads to a depressing conclusion.

I need to find a motivation that I can live by which is compatible with life? but I seem to have the worst combination of character flaws and virtues which preventing / exclude this goal.

I guess what i'm learning from writing this out is that being "the best" is not a sustainable motivation.