Memories of a primary / childhood romance

When I was in Primary School (and for the reference I went to a school called Town Green Primary school) I never thought about much beside each day and what I wanted to do. At this lovely age I was mostly focused on other people, but I was also a clumsy kind of child so I didn't get along so well with my own age group (who seemed to be very mean to me age 6/7). So, I naturally kept returning to play in the younger kids playground where everyone was more accepting. I remember that I fell into playing with one girl who was very lovely, I was too young at the time to see her for anything besides our play together but I really enjoyed just helping her find daisies and we would work together to make daisy chains and just meet up each break time to play games and make these daisy chains. At that age all I had cared about was joining in and this was a perfectly fun and fulfilling way to spend my breaks. I didn't think about it at the time, but it was just the two of us sitting in a quite spot together doing this happily.

One day, one of the older kids came over to me when we where sitting together and began to tease me for playing girly games. I was upset, because back then things mattered to me what others thought. I was annoyed because I hadn't considered what I was doing only that I was enjoying it and I was immature. So, instead of realising this bully was trouble, I shamefully got angry with the girl I had been playing with for so long for making me look foolish and refused to play with her anymore :(.

I remember I made her cry but I was so angry that I'd been made to look like a fool in front of other, and too childish to blame the others instead. I did of course forget about things in time and move on, but I never really forgot that girl or how happy those times spent together where.

I never really fitted in, and whilst I did okay and had good friends in the younger age group I never really found my place.

I remember when I hit 15, I was on my way home and I had learned (from those types of bully experiences) to ignore people. Especially girls, who had taken to attracting my attention only to loudly for cry 'like I would want your attention' (or some variant there of) so I'd become very reclusive. I was walking up the ramp away from the station, having got off early go to my best friends house. As I walked up the rank, a girl called out 'My friend really likes you'. I was already triggered and ready for this, but this was different in that she was calling out another girls feelings, but I felt sure it was a trick. So I called back, "Well, if she likes me she can tell me herself!" feeling this would put paid the trick. Though, I saw the girl behind her burst into tears and run back down towards the train as I walked away.

I don't know if it was the same girl, but it always felt it was.

I have not had a happy life in terms of people and I really, really regret letting go this wondrous friendship of two people simply happy together. I don't know if she felt the same or if she will even be still single or EVEN recall me. Though if someone recognises either of these tales and went to Town Green school in the 1980's and maybe .... well anyway completely unlikely. The best and worst of me is blogged here. Though, no one is their best and worst rants.

Doggy (missing the girl who played with him without question, pressure or want besides my company and really regretting not realising that value age 6 and 15 respectively)

Dentist Greed leads to paitient misery

I feel I have been robbed of a good tooth by a greedy industry which doesn't really care for what is best for the patient but only what it has been trained for. Whilst dentist may be trying to do good, they certainly don't stick to what they should, which is to inform and to offer solutions proper, not to guess and then to act in ways which are effective tooth attack:

I went to the dentist because I was afraid,

but all the dentist wanted was to be paid,

he told a tale of future woe,

in my mind doubt to sow,

He focused me, on a healthy tooth,

He showed past decay and called it proof,

I did not come to have that done,

I came because root canals really are not fun,

I came to just get him to take a look, as to avoid future stuck.

In my mind, I felt it should,

Be a tiny filling, a test of how good!

Something simple, something small,

I didn't expect my tooth to be mauled!

So in the chair I sat thrilling, expecting but a quick moments drilling, 

Injection, so quick, without my say, a rotten trick for him to pay, 

I sat there then and felt a tickle, that was good, the hole was little,

Then as I sat, my senses screamed, what was he doing, this dental fiend,

He kept on drilling, my good tooth he was a killing!

What could I do, but keep very still and hope this man had some real skill,

When he was through, in he shoved, composite goo, the stuff he loved,

He pressed down hard, then shined a light, declaring everything to be done right.

I left that day, feeling fine, oh how terrible a future time.

Seriously, research dentistry online, unless your in a position where your in unbearable pain, look to your diet, look to massage, look to antibiotics (where appropriate) and if the pain remains unbearable or keeps rising after each day, finally go to the dentist.

I do realise the job is very difficult and I realise that it's always going to be some level of expert guessing (even when work is required), which is where our role as patients come in stopping them terrorising our mouths. We need to say "STOP" let me think about this over night.

I'm most upset at myself, I knew better at the outset, but I let the fear of seeing a 'cavity' drive me, and not enough, since I let him work on a tooth I was happy with and was pain free *sigh*.

Sorry I know I'm going on, but just think how I am saving YOU from going on by sharing my experience and this advice as you leave the dentist chair and truely consider "is it worth the risk". Without being fooled by the dentist pretense of 'this is easy'.

How to deal with dentists? DONT USE DENTISTS WHO DRILL

Recently, I, to my lament, had a very bad experience with a New Zealand dentist. I realised a number of important things about Dentists and how to deal with them that I wanted to share so other people might be spared my misfortune(s) (I'll share that at the end, but for the sake of everyone I'll get to the point first). I learned today about the possible outcomes edge case outcomes of the drill and fill routine, potentially causing: 

• Nerve damage from either the the injection or over drilling
• Tooth compromising to the point it dies (if too much of the dentin is removed or harmed)
• Blood clot from injection

 ED: BTW, I wasn't suffering from either of those, but whilst post resarching I simply learned how teeth and nerves are connected and drilling them is always dangerous if it goes below the enamel, not to mention the potential from any numbing injection to cause issues; I am not accusing the dentist of causing any medical condition Just to be clear), and whilst I am awaiting a call back from the dentist (it's the weekend, its been 5 hours since I called) my lip is becoming numb in quite an alarming manor. So I will SCREAM don't get dental work done unless your already in pain or your dentist GUARANTEES not having it treated is very dangerous BECAUSE the outcome of the treatment may be worse than your starting position (mine certainly is).

Here is how to approach dealing with a dentist:

1. NEVER, EVER get items addressed in the same sitting as they are found unless your desperate or already with a problem you know certainly won't go away without intervention (indeed suspect any dentist that suggests they can, if it is anything other than a simple scrape and polish). ALWAYS take a cooling off period to decide (Unless your already in some pain, then you need to, but even in pain. It's worth taking the cooling off time to consider WHICH procedures they recommend to accept). I failed to follow this advice and for now am suffering for my poor choices (dentally advised).
2. Let them examine you, without poking or prodding (excepting what's required to move back your cheeks to be able to see all the teeth). Tapping on the teeth and other dental techniques to assess tooth strength excepted. The key thing is they shouldn't be putting you in any pain of discomfort here.
3. Let them take X-Rays (if it's been over 2 years since your last set or the don't have any and you've got some pain) 
4. Let them explain to you, in great detail what they see in your mouth (i found recently a great dentist will feel like they read you mind as they describe how you chew). 
5. For each thing they observe, ask the question : If I was to do nothing about this, do you guarantee it will get worse? 
6. When the suggest any procedure. Force them to say precisely what they plan to do, force them to outline exactly all the risks and possible worst results. Query the SIZE of the filling, you will likely look and feel you have a tiny little hole to be filled. If they cannot say how large the filling is to be, say they need to drill to find out. Unless your X-Rays absolutely show an issue DON'T LET THEM.
7. If they can guarantee (and its the kind of guarantee where you can get them to put it in writing for you, signing it for the major items) that it will get worse without treatment. Then seriously consider having it attended too as soon as you can.
8. If, however, as is more likely they will admit "Well I cannot say what will happen in the future" this means that they have spotted something which deviates from the normal and that other patients in which they have seen this aspect have had it addressed (and possibly one needed it addressed).

I've learned that the hard way, and I hope other people find this and read it before they have to learn the hard way themselves.

Now, to qualify why the above things are true:

When you look at their assessment you will probably find, if you have been keeping a healthy mouth and have gone to the dentists without issues, that most of what they recommend (if your not in pain) you should ABSOLUTELY AVOID HAVING DONE IF IT IS INVASIVE IN ANY WAY. Unless, and I say absolutely unless, you particularly feel a concern regarding it AND your certain that, knowing your own personal oral history, it will not resolve itself without treatment. That is to say, although these people are professionals, recall this is YOUR mouth and YOU know best. THEY know what to recommend and its good idea to listen to them, especially if they guarantee things will get worse (and do get things in writing).

The thing about Teeth is, excepting baby teeth, they are with you for life. Everyone needs to and should be very aware of that and be following the basic daily hygiene procedures that will keep them healthy and alive for the longest possible time. Those for reference are:

1. Twice daily thorough (but not rough) brushing of teeth, preferably with an Electronic Oral B toothbrush (and I specify a brand not because I favor them but because they have proven to be the best). Once in the morning before  breakfast (before because when you eat, your mouth generates more bacteria to process the food and polishing away at your teeth shortly after eating means the stuff which helps dissolve your food works a little on your teeth too as brushing removes the layer that builds up protecting them, but when done at appropriate intervals rebuilding that layer is hygienic and positive). Once in the evening before bed, and preferably a good few hours after you have finished eating.
2. Use mouthwash after having thoroughly cleaned your teeth in the evening. Making sure you swill it wound your teeth for the time recommended on the bottle. Recall not all mouthwashes are equal, so look for one recommended by a dental association.
3. Floss between your teeth. If your teeth are like mine, and have pretty much no gaps or large gaps between which the bristles of the tooth brush are easily run. Flossing can be a little less important, but is still recommended as a way to improve the odds of not running into dental issues.

Like anything in your body, teeth and gums can run into problems and dentists are a vital resource when your experiencing real problems (and I mean *PAIN*) and probably your only non-savage hope of relief in that scenario (so a good dentist is a real blessing for a nation to have).

Now, thinking about other parts of the body. If you get a spot on your chin, you know (or hopefully should know) the body will, eventually resolve it and clear the blockage which is causing the spot. Mouths and teeth have their own similar sets of issues that the body can automatically resolve, like Ulcers, cut tongues or cheek, minor damage to gums (and I've since learned damage to the dentin living layer of the tooth as long as it's damage is not too extensive and it doesn't also get infected). Everyone IS different though and some people even can ward off serious gum damage and arrest minor decay (with diet, assistance from a good cleaning regime and maybe, occasionally support of antibiotics). This is the truth of teeth. Due to this, there is no hard rule for many minor dental issues to say what is truly best. It is down to each persons metabolism and genetics.

Now, dentists....

(good) dentists are essentially medical people with specialist training relating to the mouth and all things oral. As relative experts on that region, when they look into your mouth, what they see very different from what WE know to be our reality for our own teeth. They see any and all deviations from the standard (the standard being a textbook perfect mouth). They see patterns within the mouth they may recognise from other patients or documented teaching patterns which they can use to attempt to try to predict what is going on in your mouth and to recognise and offer redress for potential problems and occurring problems indicated by what they see and the symptoms you relate to them. Which is all good, and we are lucky to have people so trained, especially when we are in pain with our mouth or teeth.

However, conversely (bad) dentists, are people who have joined the dental profession for financial rewards or possibly to demonstrate academic skill.They are still highly trained (if the government regulates the industry properly, which New Zealand does do, but not as well as the UK) but their interest is in the either monetary gain, the academic esteem or simply being right and motivated more by not being sued by the patient than executing care and relief. To ensure they are not sued they make sure they call out every possible issue that the patient might face, then offer (usually expensive) treatment for those potential conditions. They do enough scientific justification so that:

1. The patient cannot sue them for malpractice
2. They can justify the procedure(s) they want to charge for

Now, good dentists also don't want to be sued by the patient, which means:

1. They will call out every little detail that might lead to a fault.
2. They will recommend the most safe (meaning highest probability to avoiding problems) procedures.

Ultimately, as you might spot if your smart (and smarter than me 2 weeks back) that both good and bad dentists end up with a similar set of manors. The way a good dentist may be recommended from the bad is that they, up front, will be very clear about what they see which they think might lead to an issue, and what they see that is definitely a problem to be quickly resolved. Now, we still have a problem, because even given this, the dentists are using the position of the ideal to make a diagnosis. No one I  know is ideal, and no two people I know have the same level of health and bodily ability to heal. I know both people who are medical miracles, and people who seem to attract every condition or disease going. What is right for one is wrong for the other.

So, how DO or SHOULD we deal with dentists?

First, we need to try to recognise the good ones, I've covered that above. Second we need to recognise the difference between, the dentist spotting a pattern and thinking to arrest the pattern before it becomes and issue for the patient AND the dentist identifying something that is absolutely required to happen. Lastly, we should not let them convince us to get what they feel should be done, done. They should simply offer the facts they know and give their guarantees, where they can. Course they won't be able to guarantee either way on some things, they might say 'well, it might be okay, but then it could go very bad indeed and require a root canal'. I've heard this from my recent dentist, and making an honest self assessment, I know they tooth isn't (ED: Wasn't before) going that way, because visually I can see its unimpaired and on the X-Rays he showed me the dentist admitted they could not see any issues (which means if there IS an issue its not showing up OR not there!). Course, when you look at it, declaring the possibility of needing a root canal is like 'dental insurance' a root canal is the most extreme procedure to be performed short of removing the tooth (and its the death of both the tooth and part of your nervous system). So, it's like the cover all for a dentist. Anything they feel is risky to say 'it's fine' they can happily say 'well, that might need a root canal'.

So, now let me share my personal dental woes:

2 weeks back, I noticed a tiny crevice in one of my back teeth. Now, I've had a tooth ache before (like 25 years ago) and I remember that pain soundly and it lead to me needing a root canal treatment at the time. Something I never want to suffer ever again, so I've been exceptionally careful with my teeth (generally speaking, though over time its hard to keep up the same standards, easy to let a brush over live its use life, so I've had moments that I've been less thorough, hence the tiny crevice). So I was, understandably, concerned (honestly I was slightly panicked). I felt I should get the tiny hole filled sooner than later in case it might possibly progress to some unrecoverable state (fear of root canal is a huge motivator for anyone who's know one, the guy who did mine was par excellent with his work, but still). Now, I had been to another dentist 2 years earlier, where it was established there where zero issues with my teeth but she could have offered me some tidying up procedures (which I decided not to accept because they where themselves fairly invasive). Over the two years, I had NO issues with my teeth at all, NO pain or discomfort and was generally very happy indeed with my mouth all around (excepting the spotted, and concerning crevice). So, with no pain and a happy mouth I went to the dentist thinking to do whatever I needed to never need to return, but I foolishly had in my head, I wanted to get any and all works done so I would not have to return. This is a BAD state of mind to go to a dentist with (also, I wish I had done what I did after, which was to thoroughly research dentist practices, because posthumously I find that mostly dentists are expert guessing based on appearances).

So, I got there (the practice as Caring 4 Smiles in New Zealand, 475 Manukau Rd, Epsom) and saw the dentist, an approachable dentist (I'll leave out the name because its an anonymous blog) he talked to me about what brought me (good) and I indicated the holes (there where 2, one I couldn't see apparently :(), he spoke about price and it sounded good $154 for examination then he mentioned $255 for addressing the tooth with the hole. At this point, super keep I was 'Alright sounds good' (I was thinking $400 for peace of mind, excellent. Next though, more prices and extra costs began to roll out and I was honestly more than a little concerned. Anyway, he was professional, appeared knowledgeable and seemed to be honest so I will assume this was 'as he got more information' (though it felt very, very suspect the speed at which the costs shot up). On entry he was talking less than 500 dollars for everything I wanted. On leaving he was talking about greater than 1600 dollars to complete everything he identified (over several weeks). Anyway, I'll keep explaining, So he explained how he would need to add and extra 40 dollars for two extra X-Rays to get the coverage. I'm told this is normal practice so I guess I won't question it. So he did the examination, found another tiny hole near the first in another tooth (fair enough) and took lots of pictures and the X-Rays. He went through the pictures and X-Rays with me (good) and he picked out the holes and some other things. Nothing I'd not seen before the 2 years earlier (holes aside), none of the items had changed. The only thing that had changed in the two years was the two tiny holes that had cropped up.

Anyway, he explained the X-Rays and me having seen the X-Ray's from the 2 years back they looked unchanged. He pointed out some shadows but admitted those where not significant but did suggest I should get a deep scaling (though from what I know, anything suggests a scaling should be given, so that's no surprise). He said for the deep scaling he would have to numb my mouth, I was immediately alerted to an inkling of problems, I had had deep scaling before and knew what I should expect (specifically, taking an Amoxil powder a few hours before and some time of un-comfort but feeling better and cleaner in a few days). His suggested use of an injection made me feel he was not a careful person, because a GOOD dentist (e.g. highly practiced / skilled) either doesn't need the patient to be numbed and they work with the patient telling them what to expect and using the patients reactions to guide them to not make mistakes. Unlike a scaling held under anesthetic where the patient won't feel mistakes until its too late. So I immediately declined (and BOY I'm glad I did).

So I asked him: "What do you think is important / needs work?". He focused not on the small holes which concerned me, but on a tooth I had zero issues with. It had some small discoloring that the dentist 2 years earlier had described as 'arrested decay' which she explained meant that at some point some decay had begun but by whatever means had stopped progressing. When I inquired about the decay she said, that it was not progressing now but was something she would recommend having filled "in case". I asked that lady would it definitely get worse if I left it, she said she couldn't honestly say, but we could monitor it. So I declined the procedure at that time (I was smart then), and two years had passed with zero changes and no issues (happy mouth, boy do I remember that state fondly). Therefore I feel personally certain that arrest was permanent (or at least not getting any worse). However, at this sitting, he highlighted that tooth again in the same terms and even though I said personally that I was concerned with the two small holes found. He said, after my 'what would you recommend' he would be more inclined to fill the one which to me was fine. Stupidly, I imagined him making a tiny hole where I could see the yellowing, equivalent to the spot of 'tea' discoloring on the tooth, coupled with a quick filling. So I agreed to the work (huge mistake).

So first, he brought up very sneakily as I had my mouth open, that he would need to inject me with something to numb the area MOMENTS before he just injected me, giving me ZERO real chance to think 'Do I want this' or even say 'actually I don't want that'. He was like that throughout the procedure, telling me what he was about to do JUST as he did it. Now I do appreciate some things MUST happen, and being told about them is important. Though being told EARLY and being given details is important (another thing I learned to my pains).

So, he drilled, and drilled and drilled.... and it turned from the normal tickling to my tooth screaming at me 'this is wrong'. I've had fillings before, the tickling is normal, I've always felt that, but the screaming is horrible (I've since spoke to the dentist about it, and he said it was the body sending antibodies to the site of the drilling to try and protect the tooth). Course, I have to trust him, me to stop him there would have been highly dangerous. So I just prayed that he would not screw things up. Anyway, he completed the procedure and filled the tooth and declared it done. I said, 'it's a bit proud' (because it was) so he "lowered" it. I said it was still proud, but he pointed out he wanted to restore some of the tooth area. So I said, well maybe I'm just not used to it yet being back so high (I should really have trusted myself), he said he would correct it under the same bill if it turned out to be wrong (which was a good thing to hear, since the bill for that one tooth and examination and X-Rays was $495 dollars!).

So, I went home, my mouth didn't feel like it was closing right, but I put it down to time being needed. I also felt a little uncomfortable, but I put that down to recent trauma and nothing really hurt.

One week later, and each day I would wake up ok, then through the day I would be in increasing discomfort. I also felt twinges of serious discomfort in the root of the tooth that he had worked on and I was stressed to hell. As it wasn't like other fillings. I also noted he took SO much of the inside of the tooth. When it looked like the filling didn't warrant that much. I have to assume he did a professional job. So I don't focus on that here. After a week, and sub-pain in my neck and cheek in many areas around the work, not always just the area he worked on (bear in mind, before I went I was 100% pain free and happy). I decided I better go see him, so emailed to tell. To their credit, he called me back the same day and spoke about what concerned me and got me an appointment the same day to rectify things. On this note, I can highly recommend Caring 4 Smiles, just as long as you follow the advice at the top. So, he took a look and lowered the filling, he also identified that the tooth above was a little sharp so 'smoothed' that out (this was something BAD). Again he didn't really ask me, he just told me (I wish I had not let him proceed). I would have liked proper consultation, but hey he should know I thought and I was just imagining being pain free once more.

Anyway, after I could close my mouth much more comfortably. So I left a lot happier. I also assumed that it would see an end to my issues. Unfortunately that evening I got a 'hot' feeling in my cheek, a little like sunburn feeling, and I was again concerned. I did a through cleaning of my mouth and that felt a little better, but it kept sneaking back. I slept then and woke alright but a little sore. Anyway, till today, 3 days later, I've been getting some discomfort. Nothing major, just warm cheeks or twinges. I am putting them down to the trauma caused by the filling, since the dentist did not seem concerned by them.

However, I did consider my experience there. I went with no issues, and left with discomfort and a filling in a tooth I was happy with and the things I was worried about unaddressed (though I assume because he didn't address them they weren't a real concern). So overall, I'm pretty mad at myself for not following the rules above.

So, by allowing the dentist to dictate the work I needed I've been in a lot of discomfort and unhappiness. It's very distracting too as different areas of my mouth experience soreness and sub-pain. My jaw right now has just registered unhappiness and I'm giving it a rub. I can't stress enough, before the visit I was 100% pain and discomfort free. Now, I am having troubles concentrating at work as I am worried by what this all means. I don't want to freak out over nothing, because I'm sure if I go back to the dentist and show concern he might do MORE work. Since the work done so far has lead to these issues (rather than the hoped avoiding them) I really don't want to be worked on further. I also fear that the choices I let him take will stay with me.

I've read some other blog posts and found other people with similar issues. Some of them I'm sure have additional dental issues, and to a degree its possible his work just set off a 'mine' of dental work. Though I have an idea it might be what I read as a response from a dentist about bruising the nerve during the drilling, leading to a long recovery period during which lots of spurious discomforts. Well, this will be the second week, but only 1 week since the reducing of the filling and the adjustment to the tooth above. Such things may have triggered my body to react themselves.

I'll update you all how it goes, but really truly hope people find this blog before the dentist 'get them' and leave then worse off because you worried you might be worse off without the work.

With care,
Doggy

Update: Today I woke up with jaw soreness and in the morning the feeling of a pinched nerve. Now I have numb feeling lips (luckily not DEAD feeling lips, just the same as if they had been bruised). I'm also experiencing some feelings of discomfort in my neck below the treatment.

I happened to take some photo's of my mouth before the procedure and I will take them now.

This was my pre-repair tooth. As you can see it did have some minor groves and some evidence of what my prior dentist refereed to as arrested decay. This tooth had not change in 2 years from the state you see in the pictures, due to careful cleaning:

 Below is the tooth post repair.

The above before tooth was considered, by the dentist I saw, to be the most in need of work. What I did not reckon with was the extents of the work and the outcomes of having it done.

I would personally opinion, as my first dentist did 2 years prior, that if the above tooth did not cause issues the decay was in arrest and could just be monitored.

So, I  hope these pictures help someone, because it's not a particularly pleasant sight. Though when considering they the above is my actual tooth and the below is the theoretically 'rescued' actual tooth. Its pretty good. Course it remains to see if they rescued it or consigned it to on going problems :(.

I'm not impressed with the service at Caring 4 Smiles today. Whilst I appreciate it is the weekend, I was told I would be called back today. It hasn't happened in 6 hours. The least that could have been done was to inform me that my symptoms where not life threatening or tooth threatening (and given me some possible reasons). I didn't receive any real patient reassurance and am not considering if I should rate them officially. I am holding off because maybe this is just a set of bad communications... though this record stands as my testimony of my personal experience.

I found this article: http://greatoralhealth.com/restore-rebuild-tooth-enamel-dentin/
Also this one: http://www.tooth-pain-relief.com/tooth-pain-after-filling-causes.htm

I hope/pray I'm wrong with my feeling of what has happened to cause this pain. If the words 'root canal' come up in following conversations, I'll know. Course, if it turns out all this pain is a trivial cause, I'll be relieved as hell, but still will probably be finding another dentist. One that starts from a position of 'lets see if we can avoid doing anything'.

Update: 2/08/2017.

After nearly 4 weeks of discomfort and increasing pain. It was identified by the dentist 48 hours ago I had malocclusion due to the shape of the filling. This is a condition where the jaw / mouth loses it's natural resting position and leads to a lot of unpleasant side effects. I cannot state strongly enough that I definitely had NO occlusion let alone malocclusion before visiting the dentist. I went pain free and left with nearly 4 weeks of slowly escalating pain as my jaw muscles attempted to almost destroy my own teeth to re-find the occluded resting position :(. Now, I look at this and think partly perhaps I should have known or realised my resting position was compromised during the work. Though on the other hand, I knew nothing about dentistry when I went to the dentist excepting that I had a tooth I wanted a small filling in which was ignored in favor of this other recommended work (leading to all this discomfort and pain). So the real reason I have discomfort and pain is I have jaw muscles that have not had rest in 4 weeks. They are groaning against the lack of rest as well as my jaws chewing down trying to find their natural rest position crushing my under tooth as the filling is high. I said on the original visit 'it feels a bit proud' but the dentist said 'well it's to be expected as your mouth isn't used to it'. So I went away placated but in discomfort. On the second visit I said 'it feels a bit proud, can't you restore the contours like the original tooth' to which the dentist said 'well we want to restore you teeth to the condition they where 10 years ago' this sounded like a good aim coming from a professional and as some adjustments where made giving small relief I went away again. When I came for the third visit I was in considerable pain. The dentist identified the malocclusion and explained how a small difference could cause the pain. He adjusted the filling, and I felt again slightly better, I did say at the time 'it feels better, but then it did last time so I'm somewhat worried' so he said I could come back and get it corrected if it was still off. It is. After trying for 48 hours, the period the dentist suggested should see an end to my discomfort and finding after 20 or so hours the tooth ache style pain had lifted. I felt improved, but then through the next few hours my teeth kept rotating between different non-comfortable sitting positions until I was driven insane by it all and finally found one position my mouth said 'this could work' but there was a slight raise where the filling was. So I bit down a little harder and deliberately grinded some, with the foolhardy aim of maybe flattening or correcting the tiny rise. Truly stupid. Think trapping your finger HARD in a door, was how it felt after some time of this :(

Anyway, I have a nagging headache with intermittent nausea. My heart is strained because its like I've been over exercising (the muscles in question being my jaw ones).

So, I get up at 6:30am today and straight on the Bus to the dentist! I arrive at 7:10am expecting to find someone there. It's all closed up :(. I wait until after, 7:30am, then I give the place a call. No answer, just answer message.

In desperation, at the discomfort and sore jaw, I call up the emergency number and thankfully someone does answer. I explain what has gone on, and they listen and that's good. They explain they are away and that no one will be in the office that day (woe). So I take another day off from the office (I can't think, the jaw unable to relax drives you insane) and I will make an appointment tomorrow. In the between time, I'm taking ALL pressure off the teeth, because I half crushed the two teeth yesterday trying to find a comfy jaw position. When I go back, I plan to insist  the dentist restores the contour and height to that of the previous tooth. Which we can find by careful investigation together. Once this is resolved, I don't plan to go to another dentist. I also at least realise now how lucky I've been (past tence) to have kept a healthy mouth and I have the UK system of the 1980's to deeply thank for that. Marget Thatcher, much maligned by many, transformed alot of the UK in a positive way. Certainly advantaged myself.

Update 12/08/2017: A few days back I realised my new bite was putting pressure on my crowned tooth which had a root filing, I noticed this tooth had even become slightly loose (one time I pressed my tongue against it and it shifted slightly). So I went back to the dentist wanting to have it raised to it was once again above my chew line like the dentist who placed it said he had arranged it (a good dentist by the way, that dentist did work that lasted me and lasted me). Anyway, when I noted this I booked another appointment.

Yesterday, right before the appointment, things seem to have settled. I went to the dentist who took a look tapped at all my teeth and basically declared everything just needed time to settle. Today, I was feeling okay but with a little ghost pain, that is I could tell my tooth was different but not in pain. I was just accepting this state of affairs, when I placed my tongue on the tooth in front of the filled one, one which he had said 'ill just take a bit off this tooth' which seemed strange to me as that tooth wasn't touching the tooth he was supposed to work on. It was the tooth right below where I knew my crown tooth was now pressing. I don't think its any kind of coincidence. I think my dentist is very inexperienced and has left me to suffer from it. He is obviously highly knowledgeable, because what he says sound informed and meets what I can see, but he's left me with all these issues which I believe all stem from one action he took without consultation. He said 'ill flatten off the tooth above as its a bit pointy'. It was THE RIGHT SHAPE for MY mouth. He had not business doing it, he should have focused solely on HIS work not MY mouth. I'm paying dearly for his presumptions (ED: Under second opinion it was said this process is not on the whole a bad thing, though a good dentist does prefer to focus solely on the filling itself leaving other teeth alone).

I'll give my mouth time to settle, but I can't see how it will when the crown is pressuring the tooth below into submission of movement.

Can't stress enough! DON'T get any dental work done unless your already in pain. If your concerned about something in your mouth, go to dentist and get his opinion and let him tell you what's right and wrong. Always dig into their ideas and always ask them to guarantee, in writing, that not getting the procedure (whatever they recommend) will lead to issues.

Gods I hope people read this as a precursor to work not as I'm writing it, as a lesson hard learned.

To summarise the issues caused by this filling:

1. Weeks of nagging discomfort
2. Jaw ache
3. Generalised soreness
4. Minor tooth ache (but nagging)
5. Torn Ligement
6. Misaligned Bite (hopefully corrected)

Oh, incidentally, the original issue I went to see the dentist concerning. The one which was NOT fixed or worked on, got worse too. It was a small hole in another tooth. It is now a larger hole.

I sound like I have terrible oral hygiene reading this. I don't in fact, I just have suffered from very bad dentistry. When it comes to dentistry, a big part of the skill is knowing when to leave well enough alone.

Update 18/08/2017: Whist all the primary pain and discomfort has subsided, I am finding that through a day I get sick, it's a strange type of sick because unlike when I feel ill and I want nothing more than to sleep it off and usually can. This is a type of sickness which is preventing me sleeping. Today at work, at about 2 in the afternoon I felt so sick I had to leave for the day. I got back to my flat and did manage to lie down and drift out of consciousness for a few minutes. My whole jaw feels sore, I'm looking at options and I've seen TMJ disordered mentioned which sound like they might fit what I'm going through. Maybe it just needs time, but its really hard when it comes on to sleep or concentrate. This was my worst ever decision.

Update 20/08/2017: My chin under where he ruined my good tooth pinches most of the time now and I could just cry from my stupidity letting this dentist destroy my tooth. This dentist took a good tooth and has given me problems which where first painful and now scary all for his own vanity of being convinced he should work on it (and I let him, oh my god I let him *CRYS*. I just thought it would be a tiny hole which he would clean out, I didn't think he would ruin the whole tooth). I had no issues with the tooth at all, BEFORE then. I have spoiled my perfectly happy mouth and given myself the very immediate prospect of going to need.... possibly the very thing I got a filling in fear of. The root canal. DON'T LET THE FEAR MAKE YOU LISTEN, DRILLING INTO YOUR TEETH IS NEVER THE RIGHT SOLUTION WHILST YOU HAVE NO PAIN. PLEASE LISTEN AND SAVE YOURSELVES!

Update 26/08/2017: I got a second opinion. He made some adjustments which made a difference. The dentist I visited Quay Dental, in the Quay Med Center, Dentist Mark Taylor, was excellent. He told me how that even a tiny in balance in the mouth could explain all these problems I've been experiencing and immediately did what the other dentist didn't do which was to restore the pattern of my filled tooth to the pattern pre-filling by analysis of how I was biting. I can't say enough how insightful and detailed Mark was, he fully predicted how I was chewing based on inspecting my mouth and gave me a very detailed walk through of first the simplest correction and then walking through each escalation (e.g. each next most likely solution) right through to the most complex. He made some small adjustments to the filling and immediately I was feeling a lot better! I left walking on air I felt so much improved. I could again find a position to place my bite where it would stay locked and feel right. He said to give it three days, and if we needed to another adjustment could be made (all under the same fee). I felt so much better that this dentist not only told me how my chewing was (without me explaining) but also he was very honest and forthright about his process and goals for correcting things. I slept better that night (the prior night I kept waking with a sore jaw / mouth) today my comfy position has a slight nag in that I can feel it putting some pressure on my crown and I we believe I may have pulled the ligament in my crown so its complaining. I'll see how I sleep tonight, but based on the sensitivity of my crown I suspect I'll ask mark to polish down the legs of the crown so they touch late or not at all in my bite and that will be the end of it (since, the tenderness aside the bite is now happy). If anyone is interested I can explain how Mark planned to definitely get things corrected / back right in detail. Post in the comments if you want me to relay his plan to you here.

Update 9/09/2017: Things have settled mainly now, still through the day I get TMJ style sore cheeks and jaw (though just tired style, which is better than the earlier painful variant). The left side of my mouth is uneven still though my body seems to have adapted more now (I'm suffering less). I am still finding I am sleeping in 2 hours shifts, but part of that might be the rediculas noise surrounding my flat and lack of any kind of proper noise regulation surrounding accommodation in Auckland City as a whole. I feel part of the problem is past dentistry, I have one tooth which had a root canal procedure (done when I was 19 and very foolish) and that tooth is now, because its crowned, longer than the other teeth. I am forced to conclude that, put simply, unless a person is born with the condition dentists cause TMJ by their procedures. The materials they use are inappropriate for use in the mouth, they are much more hard wearing than ordinary enamel, which means they inevitably cause wear on the other real teeth they abut, now, amalgam is actually closest in properties to enamel and therefore the best material. Although there are concerns with them leaking and they do leak, they are still far safer than composite because of their softer nature. The two problems in my mouth, is this latest composite filling and also the metal bonded porcelain crown, both these modifications are incompatible with natural wear and tear in the mouth meaning they pose problems which absolutely require future dental intervention. If one was cynical, one could imagine they where chosen for ensuring future business over any practical concern. In the end, I can say that my symptoms are reduced on the whole and that what I am left with is the milder TMJ symptoms, an uneven left side of my mouth (as far as closing is concerned, not as far as a professional analysis of my bite by a dentist) and a problematic crown tooth atop a root canal. Root canals are the source of all evils. There may be times when they are unavoidable, but what seems to happen is they are like compelling candy for dentist. PLEASE beware dentist who even suggest the possibility of a root canal, excepting in some situation where you've demanded for it yourself (which you should only ever do if you are in agony, I recommend). I'm truly fed up of my new mouth. Oh how I wished I had been smarter and researched BEFORE and not been brainwashed by a fast talking dentist who suggested they could do the work that day.

Update 16/09/2017: I had the crown shortened, and I definitely feel better for it, though my mouth still doesn't feel to close cleanly. I feel the problem is that the tooth the dentist filled, was one of the last pair on unaffected original teeth in my mouth, I have all my own teeth bar one tooth, but wear and fillings have caused me to have less 'exact' original teeth. This tooth which was filled was guiding my mouth to a comfortable close position which was viable as long as it could be found. After the changes, the guide gone, my mouth doesn't 'rest easy' which is the reason for the TMJ type of symptoms (though they are reduced having shortened the crown). If I could go back in time, I would reject several of the fillings placed by past dental advice, realising the truth that dietary changes and more careful oral hygiene when younger would have been best.

So what am I left with?

1. Recurring 'twinges' in the 'chin' area below the filling.
2. Occasional discomfort in the teeth on the row above
3. Teeth closing together an an awkward feeling manor (but workable)

 Whilst these are now quite minor, having gone from no issues to this for the sake of 'thinking' I'm doing the right thing by visiting the dentist is really bad. Having a chance to review what happened, I was rushed into getting work done by the dentist, "I can do that today" and made to feel at the time the procedure was simple and without risks. I do feel 'conned'. It was an expensive procedure in itself and I've been left with issues which are dogging me. I have to hope they will all go away in time as the new dentist says I have a healthy mouth and the only issue he observes is that I have been chewing in a less than ideal jaw position and that I may have lost my comfortable position with the change in my tooth. He talked about potentially up to $12,000 dollars of work to attempt to regain the ideal. Though he could offer no guarantees. So I will, for the time, live with the twinges and discomforts and hope they go away. I miss the pre-filling state where every night if I had anything tired (like I'd done a day of sport) sleep would always reset me to happy and healthy. Waking with discomforts is a distressing thing in itself, but having them caused by attempting to avoid issues by going to a dentist is horrible.

Update 26/12/2017: After several additional dental opinion, the feeling is that "there is nothing wrong dentally with my mouth, aside from the right hand side meeting earlier than the left, but not in a way that causes dental concern". Well, the discomfort and pinching under the region filled has subsided as to no longer be notable. Though I am left with an ongoing issue of mouth soreness which can flair up during the day. Massage of my cheeks helps some and I've read there might be a connection with heart issues. Though I don't have any symptoms or signs otherwise that this is the case.

Simply stated, beware Dentists who are 'keen' to fill your teeth. I have learned a painful and ongoing lesson in this regard, and I guess I'm just fortunate it isn't sever pain and is simply aches and soreness's.

Update 22/04/2019: Have had my teeth checked by 2 other dentists. They both say dentally there is no issues. So I'm just left with the issues caused by the first dentist. The problem is, before I foolishly listend to that butcher I had no problems, I had a happy mouth with one tooth showing the first signs of developing a cavety (a tooth which he did not feel he needed to work on). I let him fill a tooth, all of the above transpires. Now, I know there's something wrong because I keep getting sick, all the signs of something screwed up, but unlike before when I was well and went and asked for the dentist to advise me on the best course. I now know that noone can know for certain which tooth. The tooth the dentist worked on is thought to be good by 3 dentists, but as assertained all dentists are just expert guessing (with OUR mouths). So all I can do is deal with this, my immune system fights whatever it is, but I have no way of knowing what fix should be taken or indeed if anything can now fix it. All because I listened to a greedy dentist who was all about his wallet and not about my health.

I realise I sound slightly crazy, but when I went to the dentist well and healthy, I reasonably expected to leave in the same state. Not to have many months of issues and an ongoing problem with no clear fix. I really hope others get to read this and avoid the trap I've been caught in. The lesson is, Dentists are fine people to goto for advice when you have an obvious issue, but that's all you should let them do, advise you. If you meet a pushy, sudo expert dentist like I did. Pay for your session saying no to everything offered and then consider afterwards in your own good time. If they nag you to make a decision, ditch that dentist and find a better one.

Blessings to anyone who has dental issues. I hope you find your solutions quickly.

DrWho Series 9, opinions

So, I've started watching Season 9, after a solid ending to Season 8 I was hopeful for more improvment in Season 9. Things didn't start so well. Though the first episode became charming enough by the end even though it was highly disjointed and didn't really make much sense (like how the guy who dies, who supposedly had an alien feeding on his brain. The doctor didn't follow up on to do something about said Alien). The next few episodes where stronger, and quite engrossing enough. Though by the episode set in Viking times I had a set of letters in my head which felt very relevent:

T.M.M.N.E.P

No, thats not some kind of system like the HADS (a lovely contrivence for TARDIS defence, Hostile Attack Dispursal System) but infact stands for:

• Too Much Money, Not Enough Plot.

Which is how I would characterise Series 9 thus far. Though to be fair, I'm still only in the early episodes and over all do not regret buying it at all (over priced as it is) so thats saying something.

I rather thing the earlier show runners, where the types that where used to having hardly any buget then running an amazing show despite (almost because of it). When Tennants Doctor hit, these directors found they had more money than expected and put it into production values and made a fantastic job of the whole thing. Which, gladly, brought success to DrWho but sadly brought money which obviously attracted some of the wrong sort. The wrong sort being those who see the budget first then how they can spend it making DrWho, rather than the sort who look for ways to make amazing TV using DrWho on a shoe string budget then use any extras to reward the viewers; of course this is all just how it feels as a watcher. The reality may be entirely different.

I felt the effects took over the plot in the Davros episode (no spoilers here, watchers will know which one). They took center stage. Also, there was a cringy, sad attempt to copy the successfull / popular themes of the day (something that Dr Who has done in its darker days, and is fine as an occasional stop gap but NOT good DrWho which is TV which says 'fuck everyone, where going THIS way').

So, let me call out how they (badly) copied aspects of StarWars (particularly the Cantina, and gruddy space bar effect). They copied elements to be seen in Marvel or DC type comic books, including a weird snake man which was ENTIRELY out of place on the planet of Davros. Though they did do a good gag with the Hand Mines, even though it was basicly robbing themes from such things as evil dead and ever Zombie movie ever made. Still, Dr Who is a bit of a plot robber at its best of times. So won't entirely slate it for that.

I loath the Greed shown towards fans of the show releasing season 9 first in two box sets.

I still love Dr Who and am SO glad that chav Matt Smith has been purged now. Though he did come after a God in the form of David Tennant, who even made the annoying squeeks and bleets of Catherine Tate bareable (which is no mean feat).

Google continue to abuse privacy at their convinience

So I sign into Google, who seem obviously bought out BlogSpot / Blogger. They have a button which is "view / adjust privacy settings" course I want to set every god damn thing to LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE AND KEEP YOUR NOSE OUT YOU GREEDY, SLIMEY BUGGERS. Like any sane/sensible person would.

Conviniently, they suddenly don't support my browser version and want to download one that allows them to better track and spam me with their shit (and better profile me to make money from my data).

Sure, they keep the browser working.. feverishly saying "oh we must make sure people can GIVE us data, we don't want older browsers hampering us getting that ripe piece of pie".

Not satisified with just the fact I use their services and am therefore subject to their advertising whims anyway they want to pirate all our commercial value and sell it on.

Well, sell THIS on Google.

Do not upgrade to Windows 10

I finally cracked and tried the 'free upgrade' to Windows 10. My friend Irene said (before I upgraded) 'why upgrade when everything is working now?'. Should have listened!


Here are some good reasons for you not to upgrade:

1. No DVD playback support (there is supposed to be a Windows DVD Player, it doesn't work)
2. No Windows Aero (Applications look shabby and old, Progress bars are monochrome, Windows don't have borders)
3. Windows App Store (if I wanted an Apple device, I would BUY an Apple device. If Windows persists with its copy-cat store bullshit, I may even just ditch Microsoft and buy a Mac. People buy Microsoft because it is MICROSOFT. Which is a 'feel' and a 'style' or at least used to be. The most important aspect was choice. Which MS are rapidly replacing with lock in and lock out style software).
4. Everything new is Windows Live tracked (sure, put your browser in privacy mode, just let the OS report on you. You won't find a single app that doesn't insist on you being online, which is Windows 10. Although, somewhat mitigating, at least old apps still work the same).
5. Microsoft Edge (the new replacement for IE) doesn't allow you to disable Java (that is sites basically raping you for all the information your worth, and anyone who knows me knows I will never, ever use that word lightly. Since rape is THE most serious evil one can perpetrate against another human).
6. Window 10 is Malware
7. Just try to disable the service "Tile Data model server". You cannot. The service manager is a joke now, with Microsoft deciding what you can and cannot do with their OS. What you certainly aren't supported doing is stopping them receiving and selling all your information.

ED: I did exaggerate when I said I might buy a Mac though, but the point was sound. I like PC's because they are were a very open platform which allows allowed for lots of different software and was very supportive of indie development.




The "Microsoft App Store" is a stick in the eye for independent developers. It is pure greed (incase anyone can't see why. It forces people to buy only what Microsoft want to offer, Microsoft will define what people see, it also allows Microsoft to monitor what is popular and make sure Microsoft is the one receiving the money. If they can't or don't wish to copy / steal the idea for themselves (which they have always done), they still gain revenue from the store transactions and insight into why the software is popular so they can steal that income too). I am seriously considering moving to Linux!


Microsoft have fucked over its entire user base for their own ends. Whilst it is not unusual for greedy corporates to do this, what is a 'newer trend' is greedy corporates getting to be that by masquerading as decent corporates (like Googles beginnings, and possibly I suspect a number of others).


Whilst, possibly, it is just some good decent people starting with ideals and becoming a success via those ideals, what is certain is they all sell out to the greedy manipulative types who proceed to wipe out all that is good/decent to replace it with what is invasive and profitable (they just hope to keep it 'under wraps' for long enough or well enough to prevent people leaving until they depend on the service and then can't. Cloud services are the ultimate expression of greed, "use my service.... FOREVER once your invested their IS no escape / alternative. 'We own all your servers.' ").


We need a law, a law not just for nations but for all of humanity. A law which encourages activity for betterment of all life and makes greed onerous and, where possible, impossible (or at least infeasible).


I propose, we base life around the supply of food, water and owned land. When it comes down to it, if people have these three things, the rest of life is about other people (broadly speaking). Each person should directly be responsible for their lifetimes worth of food and water. People shouldn't be allowed children till they can prove they have already feed themselves, via work efforts, for the equivalent of 100 year (an above average lifespan). Once someone has achieved this, they will only be responsible for accommodation and raising their children (who will also be responsible for their food). For accommodation, they should simply need to show they have built others at least 2 homes (this is important, no one should gain credit for doing things for themselves! Only for doing things for others). So, once a person has reached this heady state, they need then to justify their right for owning land. A person should have land if they work hard to look after land. Land is the most complex. We all need somewhere to live, sometimes there isn't enough space (or, there is enough, but its a bad idea to use it ALL). I would estimate though, once a person proves their worth through the above mentioned activities. They should receive some land and they should be 'judged' by peers as to whether they are earning its keep. Earning keep should be about allowing others to work off their 'food debt' and 'accommodation debt' as well as personal care for the area.


I wish people would not compromise on being decent. It is so easy, to just say 'ok, well, I can't do anything about this so will make the best of it'. I'm certain everyone has done this with something in life. I'm no exception. I just wish I was and write this to remind me to keep trying to be more and take less easy roads (like accepting the 'free' Windows 10).

Why I no longer buy commercial games

I refuse to play any game made available exclusively via Steam (or other online pirate, ironically the people called 'pirates' in software are the ones operating more ethically, even though their initial act is a crime). Which is pretty much every single game you can still buy in the shops!




There is no longer any point shopping for a game in a physical store. Every game you can get in a physical store's first requirement is "an internet connection". If your very lucky the internet connection is "just for authentication" but if your buying a steam game, this is not true. Every Steam games default first action is to download the game online. You can't proceed until you have downloaded the latest version and this is pretty routinely a 2 to 3gb download for most games.


What modern games companies do, is give us as little as possible whilst hoovering money out of our pockets as much as possible. Microsoft, in their live program, don't even grant you rights to the software, they grant you a licence to load the software into memory, under the licence terms to use the software for a particular period post paying for the game. So, in the very worst cases (Microsoft win) your literally paying for your own time spent playing the game.


Imagine if you bought a house and you never owned it, but it evaluated out to an less expensive rental. This is what's happening with modern commercial game software. We are paying, over and over and over for the right to interact with them.


Imagine you want to mow your lawn, and you don't want to pay for a gardener so you buy the tools necessary. If these tools where software, they would have a 'property of BOSH' stamped on them and some 'this tool may only be used in these conditions', the tool would come with a watcher and the tool might be taken away at any moment by the real 'owner' when they deemed fit. Maybe we where spoiled in the past with property and ownership, but I feel more the case we have sold our rights to own things for a pittance and the immediate need to play.


We are paying for nothing (possibly the plastic the DVD/CD is burned on, but that's useless because we don't own the specific pattern burned any longer). With software, it used to be (I am old yes) that you paid for the right to own the piece of code in question to use as you saw fit (or as required). It did come with the condition that you could not re-sell it, and that is only fair on the software vendor who needed to make a reasonable amount for their work so needed this control (not make money continually for nothing after the initial effort, from, and here's the key thing profiting again from people who have already paid for the game).


Now, when you "buy" a game, you have very little in the way of rights. We sold our rights a long time ago because children where the ones buying the games and all they care about or understand is "now". It used to be adults would be the ones buying games for children and they would think about "what am I buying". Though even most adults have implicitly accepted this software slavery system.


Well, I won't rant here about the wrongs without saying what is right to balance it:


What paying for software should be:

• You should get the right to own the original binary code for the game and be able to use it for yourself in an unrestricted manor as long as you own the software, in any way you choose (excepting the reasonable restriction that its only used by one person per purchase)
• You should have the right to customise the software in any way chosen (unless the customisation of the software affects other customers use / enjoyment of the software also)
• You should be unrestricted in the use of the software (you should not be forced to consult another party [such as make an internet connection] to be able to use the software, *excepting and only for the legitimate control of the proliferation of the software)
• You should be encouraging friends and neighbours who enjoy or play the game with you to buy their own copy (not be giving away your copy, for whilst it should indeed be your right to choose to do that, its just wrong to defraud the maker of a sale).
• You should never, ever, have to re-pay for software you already bought. This must include when a system is a true 'upgrade', that is the system contains binary recognisable components of existing software. It should be illegal, to tack a small feature onto a product and resell the whole product at full value to existing users. The new feature could cost as much as the original product, this would not be at issue, what is at issue is any way in which someone re-pays for binary images they already paid for once.

You will note the *, it was this * that companies have used to force on us the current state of affairs. They hide behind the excuse of 'piracy hurting profits'. The reality is that usually piracy boosts sales of software. Microsoft, in part, because as far reaching as it has because of pirate use of the software and as people profited from the use of their software they began to become legal owners. I don't seek here to 'condone' piracy, but to call out that its used as an excuse to wring money out of consumers far in outweighing of the real affect of it happening.


I myself sell software, and software that I create. I stick to the above because its what is right and fair. It allows me to make a small profit from my efforts but also means other receive proper value for what they pay for.


There is a tiny edge case here, in the form of when software if bought would be so prohibitively expensive for an individual to buy (for the creator to necessarily recoup their expenditure) that vending the software does indeed warrant selling access to the software in the initial case.

This is why I don't strictly object to a 'pay for access' solution all together. Sometimes it can be justified, but very infrequently. Even when its justified, there should be laws insisting that once the creating company can prove they have made the target profit amount (which should never be more than 3 times its cost to make) that they must then by law move to a vending mode (where it applies the above rules).


The problem of course, is that, the current ability to rip people off blind under law is attracting big companies to the table, this is creating a lot of work for ordinary people (as well as astronomic profits for companies) so there is a definite economic incentive for the current trend to continue *sigh*.


I just hate the way so much of humanity is about 'getting mine' over 'doing what's right'. I don't mind and even wish for people to get what they will and wish for, but just not at the expense of others rights or abilities to get their own. Repaying for what should be owned is one way I hate.