From something to everything and nothing inbetween

Well is has been an insane week this week. Its been quiet for ages and then suddenly chaos errupts (both good and bad, but gladly more good than bad).

Where are we supposed to be? Thats a question I keep asking myself, and I don't really have any "good" answers, here are some of the ones I came up with which don't seem quite to complete the question in the complimentary form a good answer should (42 ;)):

• We are supposed to be wherever we are:

This never felt very satisfactory as an answer, indeed I wonder if it even qualifies as an answer anywhere outside of politics ;).

• We aren't "supposed" to be anywhere, it just is.

This is very similar to the first answer, only with more of a definitive feel to it. Its basicly saying there is no purpose or reason, things just are. Whilst i'm not inherently aposed to this being true, I don't feel it to be true. The closest I could come to believing this is by saying we make our own purposes / reason.

• We are supposed to be with the ones we love

This answer has always appealed to me the most, and its where I let my self be taken in life. The only problem with this answer is that I have people I cherrish all around the world. Also, whilst I will be in love only in love with a single person, until that person is my life partner (accepts that post ;)) then i'm potentialy not ever at the right location, until I am. If you can follow that twisted logic (that is to say, where i'm supposed to be may change or, looking at it another way, i'm not where i'm supposed to be until its supposed to be too).

• We are supposed to be at the place where we are happiest

This answer is again very like the last. It sort of encompases the last answer and extends it. Again, it appeals, but it doesn't help... after all, how do you know where your happiest? you can know where your more happy, but that requires moving about... moving about leads to unhappyness and possibly prevents the establishment of happyness.

• We are supposed to be with Family and Friends

Another variant of the above, prehaps covering the above two. Again unhelpfull, especially as I have friends all around the world. No, i'm not kidding. I've got friends in New Zealand, Britain, Ammerica (California) and Germany. Though, I must admit my strongest friends are between Britain and New Zealand (so i'm only drawn between two countries 22,000 miles or more appart).

• There is no such thing as supposed

This is tempting to argue from a logical stance. "Supposed" comes from having something you are meant to do. Meaning is something derived from others or
self (We say, I mean... or you mean. Sometimes we even says "It means" but usually, upon investigation, the "it" will lead back to a person or organisation. Lets take for example someone asking "what does the alarm mean?" or just "What does it mean?" the alarm doesn't of itself have a specific meaning, we, as people assign meaning to things. Therefore, I would say all meaning flows from people. The question is, is that where meaning begins and ends?

That brings us to faith, you could define faith as a form of "self" or "personal" meaning in that we decide our faiths (choose our meanings) even if that choice is there is none (its a form of meaning, it means we don't beleive).

So prehaps the question becomes, does meaning flow from a source? are we each sources or is their a single source. Is meaning, meaningless without people for it to mean to? probably.

So what does all this mean? Well, for my life it means that I don't know really where I belong, or if even belonging is something that has any true meaning?

I feel like I belong to someone... I want to belong. Though, i'm very fussy about who my owner is ;). Theres one girl i'd give everything for, because she once gave so much to me, so much happyness... she still does in truth, but now there is a sadness too because something was lost for her, but not for me (maybe it never was for her, maybe I just lost the illusion of it).

I digress, the point is... I think belonging has to do with any "supposed to be". Maybe nothings "supposed" until we belong? maybe even belonging is not supposed until it is.

Maybe supposed comes into existance with belonging.

Well, now everyone is equally confused as I... time to leave you all thinking.

DoggyDude